It’s amazing how things come together sometimes, don’t you think? Towards the beginning of 2015 I read a book called The Desire Map by Danielle La Porte. The book is about how and why the conventional way of setting goals may not work for you and provides a compelling alternative.
Danielle’s answer is to start with how you want to feel, then work out the actions and outcomes that will get you to that feeling place. Makes sense right? The only reason we ever want anything is because it will make us feel a certain way (or at least we think it will), so why not start there?
So I read the book and worked through the question section, which takes up half the book. This is really valuable as it gets you thinking about so many things. There are such a lot of questions though and by now you’ll know I have a fairly short attention span, so I didn’t quite get around to completing them (yet!). However, I most definitely held onto the concepts and fully intended to set myself some feelings-based goals at some point.
Later I’ll tell you how you can get some valuable 1:1 help setting your goals for 2016. For now though, let me tell you about the next piece of the puzzle…
The Heart Leads
Fast forward to September 2015 when I did my mBit Coaching certification and learned about our multiple brains (heart, head and gut) and how they all work together. If you’ve missed that piece of news, watch the video I recorded at the time to find out more. One of the first thing we learned on the training was that the heart always leads. If you think about it, it’s kind of obvious because if you try to do something but your heart’s not in it, you’re going to really struggle.
As soon as I learned that, I saw the link with The Desire Map – because the heart’s prime functions are emoting, values and relating, so starting with feelings means involving the heart right from the start (I’m a poet!). Bingo!
New Year – Must Be Goal Setting Time!
I still didn’t use this information in 2015 (I know, physician heal thyself and all that) but last week, my business coach and mentor Carie Lyndene took me and my fellow Success Academy members through a high-level and very challenging goal setting exercise. Carie instructed us to come up with some goals for 2016 and I did my best to scribble some down, but I was getting a headache and feeling incredibly uninspired right at that moment. But I knew what Carie was getting us to do would be the key to my achieving everything I want in 2016, so I didn’t want to do half a job.
(By the way, I highly recommend you get in touch with Carie to tap into her immense knowledge and experience in sales, marketing and building a successful business.)
Pulling It All Together
Suddenly I remembered what I’d learned earlier in the year and I resolved to go back to the goal setting exercise later and approach it a little differently. As it turns out, I managed to put off doing that until yesterday (yes I know, procrastinating again!), so I sat down and did some balanced breathing to get into a coherent state. This simply means breathing in for a count of 6 and out for a count of 6 and repeating for about 2-3 minutes. To find out more about balanced breathing and mBraining your multiple brains, >>click here<< to book a complimentary mBraining Discovery Session with me.
Anyway, I’d done my breathing exercise and was feeling calm and alert – ready to communicate with my brains! So for each life category we’d been given I asked my heart “What do I truly want?” and then sat quietly to see what came up. If you’ve ever done anything like this, you’ll know that answers DO come. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, but sometimes they rush up like they’ve been sat around waiting for someone to ask!
Heart Centred Goals = Compelling = I’m More Likely To Achieve Them
Now I have a new list of goals that are meaningful to me and more importantly, aligned with my values. I know that when I achieve them, I’m likely to feel the way I want to feel. I also know that when I’m having a hard day, which of course we all will from time to time, tapping into the feeling-place of where I’m headed will help to keep me on track. When I look at my goals now, they tug at my heartstrings and make my heart sing (see what I did there?) and what could be more compelling than that?
Your 3 Steps To Setting Goals That Make Your Heart Sing
Here are the steps I went through, so that you can follow along and set your own compelling, great-feeling and aligned goals for 2016:
- Get into a coherent state – breathe in for 6, then out for 6 and repeat for 2-3 minutes until you feel calm and alert
- Focusing on one area of your life at a time, ask your heart “What do I truly want?” then sit quietly and wait for the answers to come up
- Write down your answers e.g. I want to write a book about how to upcycle furniture
- Rewrite your answers as if you already have them e.g. I have written my book about how to upcycle furniture
Get Started Now
This might seem basic, but this is enough to get you started and make sure your goals are aligned with your core values as well as taking you towards your desired feeling states in 2016. To make sure that all of your multiple brains are on board however, I recommend you work through each goal with each brain in turn (heart, head and gut) and then integrate the emergent wisdom throughout your mind/body system. This is possible to do for yourself, so if you’re confident to continue, please get the mBraining book and ensure you’re following the correct process.
Alternatively, if you’d like to find out how the mBit coaching system could help you rewrite your life exactly the way you want it AND to overcome any roadblocks as they arise, I strongly suggest you book an mBraining Discovery Call with me now. You’ll leave the session with absolute clarity on what you want to achieve in 2016, you’ll uncover hidden blocks that may be causing you to self-sabotage and you’ll create a clear next step that will get you moving towards your goals quickly and easily. There’s no fee and I guarantee you’ll find it transformational. Simply click this link to book: mBraining Discovery Call Booking Link
With gratitude until the next time
PS For extra credit, double check that your goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound (SMART)
PPS remember to book your mBraining Discovery Call here
Please note, I use amazon affiliate links so if you buy the book via my link I'll get a small payment as a reward for promoting it. I only recommend products I genuinely use and find useful :)