I invited Narjas to write a post for my blog because I think the ‘problems’ she talks about are not that unusual. In fact, I would go so far as to say that most of you will identify with at least one aspect of Narjas’ story. This post originally appeared on her own blog here and you can find out more about the graphic design work Narjas does by checking out her website iNKLiNGS.
Over to you Narjas 🙂
A creative mix
I make friends easily and say goodbye often. A hangover from my childhood days of living in an international family. I gained an ease around may different types of people, a rich diverse open-minded look at this world. Yet somehow for all my creative and academic achievements, I seemed be searching for roots, groundedness, and ultimately a sense of certainty about my identity.
I started to realise that my confidence needed looking at. I had to invest in trying to sort it out through real work, not just self-help books. I had come across feel good coach Cindy Davis a couple of years ago, when we did a single EFT session the results of which felt esoteric and fleeting. More recently, her business was focussing on a deeper level of coaching. One that would get to the heart of the problem, and at the stage at which you found yourself. She seemed certain that my beliefs could be changed in an instant – just like that. That is what sold it to me. Here’s what happened…
Books can’t make observations. –Cindy Davis, The Feel Good Coach.
Before I worked with Cindy, I was struggling with a lack of confidence – although outwardly it seemed the opposite! I found it hard to do the things I knew I needed to do to grow my business and I was constantly self-sabotaging. My self talk was overly critical. It limited me and kept me ‘safe’. This was starting to affect other areas of my life, so I knew it was time for me to do something about it. I was looking for a fundamental paradigm shift in the underlying problem, because I recognised that any mindset, skills, or behaviour improvements I made, would be worthless without this.
Cindy and I did a so-called ‘parts integration’ exercise during my first meeting, and immediately after the session I felt a strong sense of calm. A oneness. I felt at ease.
It’s not you, it’s me
The next morning I was taking my son to his early Saturday morning swim class – usually a bit of a logistical nightmare to get there on time without tears – but I noticed how different this morning felt from usual. As we headed back to the car afterwards, my son took my hand and said how he ‘prefers the way I am being this morning’. He’d been cooperating, and calm, and feeling loved. Amazing really.
I slept really well, and I communicated in a more useful way at work – I felt valued. Was motivated early the next day to get up and tackle a few important plans one by one, but not all-plans-at-once as I used to.
Seeing the forest, not just the trees
Calm. Fine. Neutral. Which is saying a lot for me. I am doing, rather than thinking. So far, so weird. Loving it. That restlessness and search for something to complete me, is gone. I’m operating out of myself and enjoying being me, warts and all. I no longer feel the need to fundamentally change or improve myself anymore. I simply am.
Tell me, does confidence come easily to you? (contact Narjas here: firstname.lastname@example.org)
Great blog Narjas, thank you!
If you’d like to find out more about working with The Feel Good Coach, drop me an email on email@example.com to arrange your free phone consultation.